Vulnerable

December 14 2012

This past week I went to a movie,shopping and out to lunch with a dear friend.We have been neighbors,walking buddies attend the same church,and best friends for over sixteen years.I have shared more of my heart with her than  with almost anybody else I know.She has always been very supportive and  non-judgemental. She lives a life that most other women would envy. Beautiful home with all the bells and whistles,nice car,frequent trips to the beauty salon,nail salon,massages,pedicures,laser treatments etc.etc.she also has many friends that she can call any time for coffee.She spends every winter in Palm Springs for 6 weeks,I think you can get the picture.Like I said I've shared my heart with her and been vulnerable.Sometimes I've felt like she must have things in her life that aren't perfect, I wish she could share them with me,not because I wanted her to have something wrong,I just knew that noone has that perfect of a life.At lunch this week she shared with me how this time of year between Thanksgiving and Christmas are really had for her,because she has no family that lives here.She was very earnest in expressing  her feelings to me.I felt bad for her,and tried to put myself in her place and imagine what it would be like to year after year not to be able to have my grandchildren and children to my home for the holidays or almost never.It is just a heartbreaking thought for me to think about.Yes there are phone calls,and skyping ,and she visits them once a year in their home,but it is just not the same as them coming to visit her! To me it would be such a sense of being abandoned.I felt so bad for her,and so dumb that I have so joyfully blabbered every detail of every moment and even bragged about how much fun we have with our family.I'm so glad that she shared her pain with me.I will think twice before I envy her again. I will also curb my bragging. I am so thankful for the family that I have,no it's not perfect all the time,in fact we have had our fair share of heartbreak,but we still do have each other.I'm thankful also to have such a good friend that has put up with me all these years.